I just had signed up on SEACHANGE last night *and hopefully I'll pass :)* .. and after I answered those 3 questions, I had thought over my personal life again. well, I haven't really thought of my life before. maybe until last night. I just thought, what change do I really want for myself? it's not just about that. but I started to think, is there anything that I had did to make my life better?? okei. seems like there is nothing
yeah.. I know I wrote that I want to care more. and I really meant it. I want to care more about my life. I want to care more about my study. I want to care more about everything. because as long as I can remember, I have never really care about those sort of things. I have never really put my attention on it. if I could say, I had broken it. I had ruined over my own life!! and, yeah. that's a stupid thing to do!! hahahhaha
maybe now is the time to make changes in my life. maybe now is the time to make my life better. maybe now is the time to think over it. well, as I have that chance now, right? the problem is, will I be able to do that? will I really make a good changes to make my life better? okei. that's one of my problems. the big problem!! I don't have enough confidence to do that. well, I have no enough confidence to do everything. I just always give the right to make decisions over my life to my mom and dad. and I just accepted it whether I like it or not. and I prefer to not doing anything, to not saying anything, even it has something to do with me and my life
yeah.. I know it sucks! but I kept on doing that in the past. but now, I guess I'll try to stop being like that. I can't depend on my parents for all my life, can I? hehehe.. :D I'll try..